Parenting Pressures

By Meriem | 2015/06/26 - 10:51:57

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Is it selfishness or innocent desire? Is it because you want to see them as doctors one day or because you want to be their support in whatever path they choose? Is it a must or a choice? To be a parent. Our thoughts will be clearer through the stories of three couples that we all could know.

Mr. and Mrs. A got married, had an amazing honeymoon in Tahiti and then came back to their dreamy mansion in Beverly Hills, but soon, the A couple started having problems to the point they hated returning home in the afternoon. The word "divorce" was never used in their families and Mr. and Mrs. A wanted to find happiness again, so they decided to have a baby. Would a baby make them happy? Would a baby save their marriage? Would a baby be the solution to their problems?

I learned from university that pre-production serves as 90% of a successful film. If the pre-production is a fail, there really is no point in starting to shoot. Mr. and Mrs. A were living over a problematic foundation, so how could they even think about building on it?

Baby A arrived. Family and friends put balloons everywhere, took pictures and wished the couple "congratulations". Mr. an Mrs. A stared at each other and smiled until all guests left and baby A slept. Then started to argue, once again, about things.

Using a baby to solve personal issues might not be the best option. The baby will not receive enough love, once the parents realize that the child didn’t solve their problems. 
On the other side of town, Mr. and Mrs. B got married, moved to a rental apartment that took almost 50% of their both salaries, decorated their fridge and started looking for a used car in the newspaper. One day, Mr. and Mrs. B were lying on the bed watching celebrity news showing Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian getting ready to join the motherhood club. The B couple looked at each other and made love, in the hopes to extend their little family. Did they thought if they had a room for this baby? Did they thought if they had time for this baby? Did they thought if they could afford the needs of this baby?

Baby B was here, celebrating 5 years of existence, blowing out 5 candles in that same tiny apartment where everything started, but Mr. and Mrs. B kept asking the child what he/she wanted to be in the future, like all the options in the world were just there to take.

Parents like the B couple, who always struggled financially as a couple, took a risk and gave birth to a baby, thinking that a child can be happy, as long as he/she is not hungry and cold, can still become unrealistic when it comes to their children. They show him/her that having realistic expectations about life, instead of dreaming big, is unambitious and a shame.

Finally, Miss C & Mr. D bumped into each other on an idyllic island. They both were having a nice vacation. They had lunch together, talked about their high school love stories and decided to renew the past by watching their favorite movie. Miss C learned that she was pregnant three weeks later. She decided to keep the baby and raise the child by herself, certain that she would fill up the father's gap.

Will the baby appreciate her single parent choice? Did she thought that, one day, the baby might want to contact the dad? How would she feel if someone took that decision for her?Shout out to all the amazing single moms and dads who are playing both roles in their kid’s lives, but Miss C didn’t even made the effort to contact Mr. D. People are free to choose their lifestyles, but I strongly believe that a stable relationship is a step to be taken if you are thinking about having a baby.

No matter how strong and independent a person seems, you can be really shocked to know that all that power fades in front of society pressure. 

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